Studies in First Peter Part 16
“1In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3Your adornment must not be merely external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear” (I Peter 3:1-6).
Peter has been writing about our reputation with outsiders and the need to give honor to all. He now brings this into the marriage relationship with the phrase, “In the same way …” Peter is saying that just as you are following Christ’s example (I Peter 2:21) of service in the larger society, let’s bring it home to your family. He starts with a word to the wives.
Peter is calling on wives to treat their husbands with respect even if they are unbelieving toward the gospel. And wives are to do this not through outward adornment but as the spiritual person that flows from their new heart.
I like how Dr Paul Ellis says it in The Grace Bible, and I paraphrase. True submission springs from love, not from a hierarchy of power. It is not forced upon us from above. It is something we offer from within. It is saying, “Because I love you, I am choosing to put you first.”
Submitting to each other is how we show love in a Christian marriage (Ephesians 5:21). Equality and mutual respect are valued in a healthy marriage. But equality is not the goal. Love is. Christ’s new command for a new covenant to love one another as Christ loves us often finds its most ongoing application in our marriages.
Practicing a life of honor, respect, serving, understanding toward your husband may soften the soil for the seeds of the gospel to take root. And finally, living in this way with your husband has an “imperishable quality” and is “precious in the sight of God.” Much more lasting and precious than gold jewelry or fancy dress.
Let me close with this thought. If the words “be submissive” conjure up trauma or shame or anger from your past experiences in patriarchal systems, stay tuned for tomorrow’s post. As Peter turns to instructions for husbands, we will discuss headship is a way you may not have heard before. I will see you then.