Parenting with the Parables – The Lost Son

Remember the context of Jesus’ first coming?  His contemporaries viewed the coming kingdom as a national deliverance from foreign oppression and personal deliverance for the righteous.  Jesus turned that idea on its head and proclaimed deliverance for the needy; the sick, the oppressed, the sinner.  The Jewish leaders expected judgment for the sinners, not redemption.  When Jesus ate with those considered “sinners,” it meant acceptance and recognition in their culture.  This coupled with His announcement that the kingdom had come to sinners led to many a protest from the religious leaders.

One of these protests is found in Luke chapter 15, “Now all the tax-gatherers and the sinners were coming near Him to listen to Him.  And both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, ‘This man receives sinners and eats with them.’  And He told them this parable, saying,…” (Lk 15:1-3).  Jesus then goes on to tell three parables to illustrate that the very thing He was being accused of is exactly why Jesus came; to rescue the lost.

The last in this series of parables is the story of the lost son, sometimes referred to as the parable of the prodigal son (Lk 15:11-32).  To summarize the story, a wealthy landowner had two sons.  The younger son requested his share of the inheritance from his father so he could set out on his own.  The father agreed and the younger son took the money and headed off to a far away country.  After squandering his inheritance on loose living, the son ended up working on a hog farm in a time of famine and was in the process of starving to death.  When the son came to his senses, he said, “My father’s servants are treated so much better than this.  I will go to my father.  I will throw myself on his mercy.  I will offer to become a servant and work off the money I wasted.”  So the son returned home.

Meanwhile back at the family farm, Jesus paints a picture of a lovesick father waiting and yearning for his lost son.  When the son returns, the father sees him from afar, is overwhelmed with compassion, runs to embrace him, kisses him, and announces a feast in his honor.  He will have nothing to do with his son’s plan to pay off the debt, but instead proclaims to all who will hear, “Rejoice with me.  My son who was as good as dead has come back to life.  My son who was lost has been found.” (Lk 15:23-24).

Let’s stop the narrative right here and say, “Wait just a minute.”  Are we to believe that after squandering his father’s money and inflicting the emotional pain of leaving without a trace, that all is forgiven?  What about working off the debt?  What about some probationary period to make sure the son’s change of heart is genuine?  And is Jesus’ parable really suggesting that the attitude of this father – celebrating his son’s return with forgiveness and no thought of repayment – is a picture of how God, the Father, accepts us?

That, my friends, is the absolute unadulterated beauty of the Christian message!  When we change our minds about Jesus Christ and embrace His message, all is forgiven.  There is no probationary period.  There is no “good works” requirement of being better than my neighbor, giving to charity, or performing any acts of penance.  To our calculating and cynical minds this is too good to be true.  That is the uniqueness of the Christian message.  And this free gift is being offered to you right now.

When you strip away the media caricature of Christianity, when you strip away the uninformed biases we have heard all of our lives about Christianity, at the heart of the Christian message is the story of a lovesick Father rejoicing in and accepting without reservation the person who embraces His message of good news.  And the good news is this:  Jesus Christ died for your sin problem and offers to set you free from its penalty and its power.

Yes, it is almost too good to be true, but we believe by faith that this “beautiful unfairness of grace” is indeed completely true.  And the lesson for our children is two-fold.  It is to rejoice and be grateful in the grace that was given to them free of charge.  It is to approach God as their Abba Father without fear; completely loved, forgiven, and accepted.  And it is a call to extend that grace to others.  When our families are saturated with this grace; fear, worry, and disharmony will diminish, and joy, cooperation, and love will increase.

Parenting with the Parables – The Unmerciful Servant

In the gospels, Jesus referred to His ministry as “new wine” (Mk 2:22); not just an add-on to the old covenant, but something totally brand new.  In fact, I would say it is beyond brand new to the point of being completely revolutionary.  And one of its revolutions was the overturning of the Old Testament consequence model in favor of God’s new covenant model of love, acceptance, and forgiveness.

Remember, the disciples would have been steeped in the Old Testament eye-for-an-eye model prior to meeting Jesus.  So Peter was actually being quite generous in Matthew 18:21 when he asked Jesus if he should forgive his brother up to seven times.  But Jesus trumped Peter’s attempt at generosity by teaching that our forgiveness should be unlimited and illustrates this point with a story.

As with most parables, the story begins with “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a …” (Mt 18:23).  Jesus then tells the story of the unmerciful servant who after being forgiven an insurmountable debt by the king, goes out and demands payment of a tiny debt by a fellow servant to the point of putting the second fellow into debtor’s prison.  Of course, when the king hears of this he is incensed and the first servant is rightly punished.

Jesus’ point?  We should always forgive our brother just like the king – our heavenly Father – has forgiven us.  We can also learn from the parable that the offense against us is small potatoes compared to the great moral trespass we have committed toward God and of which we have been completely forgiven.

In parenting with the parables, we used this story to demonstrate to our children the value of forgiveness.  We taught our kids how to ask, extend, and receive forgiveness.  We taught them how forgiveness is a key part of love and acceptance and how these qualities all flow together.  Forgiveness is a healing antidote to sibling rivalry.  Like the attitude of generosity that we have previously written about here, it moves us away from being prisoners of a fairness and consequence model and opens our family up to the new world of love, acceptance, and forgiveness brought to us by Jesus.

It also prepares our children for the adult world.  We live in such a victim mentality culture these days.  Someone else is at fault for my dysfunction, my situation, my circumstances, my loss; and they must somehow be made to pay for my distress.  Forgiveness, on the other hand, not only flies in the face of this mentality, but models the attributes of Christ who not only forgave his literal killers, but us His spiritual killers as well.  Our sins sent Christ to the cross and in the most generous forgiveness possible, He has pronounced us “not guilty” when we accept His sacrifice in our place.

Love, acceptance, and forgiveness brings a generosity of life to our families that is a wonderful thing.  And it is a joy-filled experience to be part of.  May it be the experience in your family today.

Parenting with the Parables – The Good Samaritan

In the story of the good Samaritan, Jesus is responding to a question from a lawyer, “who wishing to justify himself”, asked, “Who is my neighbor?” (Lk 10:29).  Jesus answered the question with a parable.

A man was going from Jerusalem down to Jericho when he was attacked by thieves and left for dead on the side of the road.  When a priest, travelling the same route, came upon the man, he crossed over to the other side and continued on his journey.  Next a Levite saw the injured man and also passed by on the other side.  Finally a Samaritan – despised by the religious elite who ignored the man – came upon the casualty and, moved with compassion, stopped to tend to his plight.  He bandaged the man’s wounds, took him to an inn, and paid for his care.  Jesus ends the story with, “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robber’s hands?” (Lk 10:36).  To which the lawyer rightly answered, “The one who showed mercy to him.  Then Jesus said to him, ‘Go and do the same’ ” (Lk 10:37).

The lesson of service to others demonstrated by the Samaritan is straight to the point.  Compassion is the attitude that should define our response to those in need.  Compassion is the foundation for our generosity, our hospitality, our service.  While some of us may have a more natural bent toward mercy, compassion in service to others can be taught.  And it is best taught by example.  Watching you respond to people in need speaks volumes to our children.

One morning, several years ago, Rhonda was at the kitchen sink when she saw our new neighbor sitting on the curb crying.  Rhonda walked across the street and listened to her tale of woe.  Moved by compassion, Rhonda began to give her new friend a ride to her job (part of her despair was losing her license due to an arrest), invited her family to AWANA, connected them to a church, and made a permanent difference in the life of this family.  It started with a choice to cross the street instead of look away.

Sometimes the needs of those around us can be overwhelming.  We must balance our responsibility to our own families, work, and church body that God has given us to do.  How do we choose when to respond?

Our friend, pastor Dave Gibson, used to say, “God puts people in our path that we would have to go in the ditch to get around.  They are there for us to serve.”  Rhonda and I started to put this concept into practice and taught our kids to do the same.  We would ask, “Am I going to have to go into the ditch to get around this person and their need?”  If that is the case, maybe God has put them there for me to respond with compassion, hospitality, and generosity.

Who are you “going in the ditch” to get around?  And could they be in your path by God’s design?  Good questions to ponder as we seek to follow the example of the good Samaritan.

Parenting with the Parables – The Automatic Kingdom

“And Jesus was saying, ‘The kingdom of God is like a man who casts seed upon the soil; and he goes to bed at night and gets up by day, and the seed sprouts and grows – how, he himself does not know.  The soil produces crops by itself; first the blade, then the head, then the mature grain in the head.  But when the crop permits, he immediately puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come’ ” (Mk 4:26-29).

Lest we become discouraged by the two kingdoms – the wheat and the weeds of our last parable – growing together, Jesus gives us a message of hope in the parable of the automatic kingdom.  And the message of hope is that the good kingdom will not be choked out by evil, but will grow, flourish, and prosper in the present age.  How do we know this?

There is an interesting Greek word buried in the middle of this parable.  Notice in verse 28 that the seed – the kingdom of God – is growing “by itself”.  “The soil produces crops by itself; first the blade, then the head, then the mature grain in the head” (Mk 4:28).  By itself is translated from the Greek word automatos; the Greek root of our English word, automatic.  We are all familiar with the word “automatic” used to describe things that seem to run “by itself”, like an automatic transmission or an automatic dishwasher.

The point is that the kingdom of God is so unstoppable that it appears to be growing automatically.  And we know from the rest of Scripture that God is causing the growth that appears to be automatic.  As Jesus proclaimed, “I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not overpower it” (Mt 1:18).

This message of hope is a message for us and our children to not be downcast by the evil in our world.  When it does not appear to us that things are happening fast enough, when evidence of God’s growing kingdom is blurry, rest assured that God is at work.  Our role is not to fret, but to get involved and find where we can join the effort to grow the kingdom.

I recently returned from visiting some churches in a limited access country.  An elderly pastor shared with me that twenty years ago he thought the message of Christ was close to being extinguished in his country.  But his prayers never ceased, and the flame never went out.  And now he is thanking and praising the Lord as an incredible gospel wind is blowing through his country.  We cannot predict where the wind will blow or where a new outpost of the kingdom of God will sprout in full bloom.  But we have the assurance of Jesus, that the fire will never go out.

Parenting with the Parables – The Wheat and the Weeds

Like so many of Jesus’ parables, the story of the wheat and the weeds (Mt 13:24-30) begins with “The kingdom of heaven is like…”  What is coming next is a word picture describing some aspect of the kingdom of God.  In this parable, the farmer planted wheat (“the good seed”) in his field.  At night, his enemy came and sowed weeds.  At first no one realized the sabotage.  But as the wheat and the weeds began to grow together, it was obvious something was wrong.  The confused workers quizzed the farmer, “Did you not sow good seed in your field?  How then does it have weeds?” (Mt 13:27).  The farmer recognizes this as the work of an enemy.  The workers respond with a willingness to immediately yank out the weeds.  But the farmer replies, “No, lest while you are gathering up the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them.  Allow both to grow together until the harvest; and in the time of the harvest I will say to the reapers, ‘First gather up the weeds and bind them in bundles to burn them up; but gather the wheat into my barn.’ “ (Mt 13:29-30).

At the disciples’ request, Jesus gives the interpretation of the parable in Matthew 13:37-43.  “And He answered and said, ‘The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man, and the field is the world; and as for the good seed, these are the sons of the kingdom; and the weeds are the sons of the evil one; and the enemy who sowed them is the devil, and the harvest is the end of the age; and the reapers are angels.  Therefore just as the weeds are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age.  The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all stumbling blocks and those who commit lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.  Then the righteous will shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father.  He who has ears, let him hear.’ “

The point of this parable is that good and evil – the kingdom of God and the kingdom of evil – are growing alongside each other in the present age.  And this understanding leads to important lessons for us and our children.

When our children are discouraged by the evil in the world, this parable is a great starting point for a discussion of Satan and his current role in the world.  God does have an arch-enemy.  And for reasons I can’t explain but are taught in this parable and throughout the New Testament, God has given some level of reign over this world to Satan.  “We know that we are of God, and that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one” (I Jn 5:19) is just one of many references to Satan’s current rule in this world.

We don’t like this “growing alongside” and would like to see the Old Testament method for dealing with evil put to use today.  The Old Testament model was God’s blessing for righteousness and punishment for evil were generally immediate, physical, and temporal.  Evil was not allowed to grow alongside righteousness.  That is what the workers had in mind in the parable.  “Should we use the Old Testament method and yank out these weeds on sight?  God replied, “Allow both to grow until the judgment at the end of the age.”  The banishment of evil and evildoers is coming, but not yet.  We would like to see evil destroyed in the here and now.

So when you see evil flourish, when you see the wicked prosper, do not despair.  God’s kingdom is growing and at work and will ultimately triumph.  This parable is meant to be an encouragement when we are discouraged by the power of evil in the world, including its presence in our own experience and our families and our community of believers.  God has ordained that the two kingdoms not only co-exist but grow alongside each other in the present age.  But God’s kingdom will not only triumph in the end, it will continue to grow and bloom in the church age.  And this growing kingdom for good is the topic of our next post.