In the gospels, Jesus referred to His ministry as “new wine” (Mk 2:22); not just an add-on to the old covenant, but something totally brand new. In fact, I would say it is beyond brand new to the point of being completely revolutionary. And one of its revolutions was the overturning of the Old Testament consequence model in favor of God’s new covenant model of love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
Remember, the disciples would have been steeped in the Old Testament eye-for-an-eye model prior to meeting Jesus. So Peter was actually being quite generous in Matthew 18:21 when he asked Jesus if he should forgive his brother up to seven times. But Jesus trumped Peter’s attempt at generosity by teaching that our forgiveness should be unlimited and illustrates this point with a story.
As with most parables, the story begins with “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a …” (Mt 18:23). Jesus then tells the story of the unmerciful servant who after being forgiven an insurmountable debt by the king, goes out and demands payment of a tiny debt by a fellow servant to the point of putting the second fellow into debtor’s prison. Of course, when the king hears of this he is incensed and the first servant is rightly punished.
Jesus’ point? We should always forgive our brother just like the king – our heavenly Father – has forgiven us. We can also learn from the parable that the offense against us is small potatoes compared to the great moral trespass we have committed toward God and of which we have been completely forgiven.
In parenting with the parables, we used this story to demonstrate to our children the value of forgiveness. We taught our kids how to ask, extend, and receive forgiveness. We taught them how forgiveness is a key part of love and acceptance and how these qualities all flow together. Forgiveness is a healing antidote to sibling rivalry. Like the attitude of generosity that we have previously written about here, it moves us away from being prisoners of a fairness and consequence model and opens our family up to the new world of love, acceptance, and forgiveness brought to us by Jesus.
It also prepares our children for the adult world. We live in such a victim mentality culture these days. Someone else is at fault for my dysfunction, my situation, my circumstances, my loss; and they must somehow be made to pay for my distress. Forgiveness, on the other hand, not only flies in the face of this mentality, but models the attributes of Christ who not only forgave his literal killers, but us His spiritual killers as well. Our sins sent Christ to the cross and in the most generous forgiveness possible, He has pronounced us “not guilty” when we accept His sacrifice in our place.
Love, acceptance, and forgiveness brings a generosity of life to our families that is a wonderful thing. And it is a joy-filled experience to be part of. May it be the experience in your family today.