Category: Thoughts

Studies in First Peter Part 17

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (I Peter 3:7).

Understanding and honor, listed here, are just two of the ways we show our love to our wives.  Let’s investigate some other highlights of our role as husbands.

Patriarchal systems with men firmly in charge, particularly in marriage, have a very poor track record of actually following what the New Testament teaches.  These systems like to empower themselves with “headship” verses from Scripture and completely miss the point of what biblical headship looks like.

I said last time that equality and mutual respect are essential in a healthy marriage.  And if you feel like this goes against your understanding of “headship” in marriage, I invite you to travel with me on a short journey into biblical headship.  Or as I like to call it, headship with a heart.

Here are two of the most popular verses about the headship of the husband or man in the New Testament.  “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body” (Ephesians 5:23).  And, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ” (I Corinthians 11:3).

It looks to me like the apostle Paul is comparing the headship of the husband or man to the headship of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:23) and God as the head of Christ (I Corinthians 11:3).  So maybe we can learn a little about headship by looking at these relationships.  Let’s start with Christ as head of the church.

What is the number one thing that Christ does as head of the church?  It is right there in Ephesians 5 as it relates to the headship of husbands.  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).  There are a thousand different ways we can give ourselves up for our wives.  We do this through serving them, protecting them, treating them with understanding and compassion.  But the bottom line is we serve as her head by “giving up” not by “lording over.”

Next, what does God as the head of Christ (I Corinthians 11:3) look like?  One of the clearest explanations is from the voice of Jesus Himself.  “For this reason therefore the Jews were seeking all the more to kill Him, because He not only was breaking the Sabbath, but also was calling God His own Father, making Himself equal with God.  Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son does in like manner.  For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing; and the Father will show Him greater works than these, so that you will marvel’ ” (John 5:18-20).

The Jews clearly understood Jesus’ repeated claim to equality with God, the Father; so much so that they sought to kill Him.  In this passage we see this equality in action as the work of God the Father and the work of God the Son is shown as the collaboration of intimate (“the Father loves the Son”) equals.  Their relationship is rooted in equality, not superiority.  Does this equality diminish God’s headship?  Apparently not.  Thinking about how this applies to male headship, particularly in the marriage and family setting, we are to treat our wives as intimate equals.

Continuing, “For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son also gives life to whom He wishes.  For not even the Father judges anyone, but He has given all judgement to the Son” (John 5:21-22).  God shares His authority with the Son.  Does this diminish God’s headship?  Apparently not.  Christ did not use His shared authority to usurp the Father.  Instead, they worked in unison.  We are to share authority with our wives.

Finally, God shares His honor with the Son.  “So that all will honor the Son even as they honor the Father.  He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him” (John 5:23).  Isaiah wrote, many years before, “I am the Lord, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another” (Isaiah 42:8).  But God does share His honor and glory with the Son because He wants all people to honor the Son.  Does honoring the Son diminish God’s headship?  Apparently not.  We are to give honor to our wives.

Do you see where I am going?  Based on these examples, headship is all about serving, honoring, equality, sharing authority, understanding, and laying down one’s life.  I am getting no “boss vibe” in these pictures of Christ as the head of the church or God as the head of Christ.  The abusive headship we often see in practice and encouraged by some churches is offensive, fleshly, and downright evil.

There is only one kind of truly biblical headship; it’s headship with a heart!

Studies in First Peter Part 16

“¹In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, ²as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.  ³Your adornment must not be merely external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; ⁴but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  ⁵For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; ⁶just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear” (I Peter 3:1-6).

Peter has been writing about our reputation with outsiders and the need to give honor to all.  He now brings this into the marriage relationship with the phrase, “In the same way …”  Peter is saying that just as you are following Christ’s example (I Peter 2:21) of service in the larger society, let’s bring it home to your family.  He starts with a word to the wives.

Peter is calling on wives to treat their husbands with respect even if they are unbelieving toward the gospel.  And wives are to do this not through outward adornment but as the spiritual person that flows from their new heart.

I like how Dr Paul Ellis says it in The Grace Bible, and I paraphrase.  True submission springs from love, not from a hierarchy of power.  It is not forced upon us from above.  It is something we offer from within.  It is saying, “Because I love you, I am choosing to put you first.”

Submitting to each other is how we show love in a Christian marriage (Ephesians 5:21).  Equality and mutual respect are valued in a healthy marriage.  But equality is not the goal.  Love is.  Christ’s new command for a new covenant to love one another as Christ loves us often finds its most ongoing application in our marriages.

Practicing a life of honor, respect, serving, understanding toward your husband may soften the soil for the seeds of the gospel to take root.  And finally, living in this way with your husband has an “imperishable quality” and is “precious in the sight of God.”  Much more lasting and precious than gold jewelry or fancy dress.

Let me close with this thought.  If the words “be submissive” conjure up trauma or shame or anger from your past experiences in patriarchal systems, stay tuned for tomorrow’s post.  As Peter turns to instructions for husbands, we will discuss headship is a way you may not have heard before.  I will see you then.

Studies in First Peter Part 15

“²¹For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, ²²who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; ²³and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; ²⁴and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.  ²⁵For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls” (I Peter 2:21-25).

We follow the example of Jesus when we suffer for doing good.  We follow the example of Jesus when we are wrongfully slandered but give no retaliation.  We follow the example of Jesus when we do not return evil for evil.  We follow the example of Jesus when we “entrust ourselves to Him who judges righteously.”

And the greatest suffering that befell our Savior was His death in our place.  When Jesus died, “He bore our sins in His body on the cross.”  This part of verse 24 is very familiar and highlights what Jesus did FOR us; He took away our sins, bearing the punishment for them in His own body.

But there is a second part to verse 24 that is often overlooked.  Look at it carefully.  Jesus’ death in our place not only freed us from the penalty of our sin, but also provided a pathway for us to live free.  His death is the door through which “we might die to sin and live to righteousness.” 

We have the power to say “No” to sin and “Yes” to righteousness through the healing wounds of Jesus.  Our old self died and our new supernatural self – as partakers of the divine nature – became our default mode.  This new life in Christ, Christ living His supernatural life through us, is a miracle of miracles.  And it came to us freely by the grace of God when we believed the gospel message of Jesus Christ.

Christ, through His death in our place on the cross, did something FOR us; freed us from the penalty of our sin.  And He did something TO us; made us a new creation child of God.  And He did something IN us; He came to live His righteous life in us.

Finally, we are no longer straying sheep.  I, for one, am tired of sermons on the stupidity of sheep and their penchant for wandering, etc.  We are obedient sheep.  We are sheep who know our shepherd’s voice.  We are the beloved sheep of His pasture.  We WERE straying sheep.  But we are not that now.  We have found our way home.  We have safely and forever “returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.”

Studies in First Peter Part 14

“¹⁶Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as servants of God.  ¹⁷Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.  ¹⁸Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.  ¹⁹For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly.  ²⁰For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience?  But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God” (I Peter 2:16-20).

There are so many parallels in Peter and Paul’s expressions of the new covenant.  “Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as servants of God” from verse 16 above sounds just like, “For you were called to freedom, brothers; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13).

This concept of turning your freedom into service goes back to Romans chapter 6.  Here we are taught that our freedom is not some loose autonomy attached to no one.  Rather it is the freedom to choose a new master, to choose whom we serve.  In our lost condition we were slaves to sin with no means of escape.  Now, as believers in Jesus, we are free to choose a new master, the Lord Jesus Christ.

“Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.  Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.  For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

“What then?  Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace?  May it never be!  Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?  But thanks be to God that though you WERE slaves of sin, you BECAME obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness” (Romans 6:11-18).

What a beautiful description of what we WERE and what we now ARE.  We are obedient from our new heart.  We have the power to choose to obey, choose to serve, choose to love, and choose to worship.

So what does turning your freedom into a life of service look like?  It is “honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.”  It is a life of lifting folks up through our words and actions.  It is treating all people with honor in place of hate, honor in place of judgment, honor in place of ignoring the needs of our brothers and sisters.

And finally, our passage ends with this thought.  If you are treated poorly for doing the right thing.  If you are treated poorly in return for your kindness.  If you are treated poorly for preaching the truth, you are in good company of the kind of treatment Jesus and the apostles received.

However, if you are treated poorly because you act like a jerk, dishonoring people with judgment and criticism; no shock, surprise, or credit for you.  Rather, it is something to be expected.  Let us use our freedom to honor all whom God brings into our lives.

Studies in First Peter Part 13

“¹²Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.  ¹³Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, ¹⁴or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right.  ¹⁵For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men” (I Peter 2:12-15).

Maintaining a good reputation with unbelievers is not religious posturing or people pleasing.  It is just a natural part of righteous living, a natural flow of “keeping our behavior excellent” among our unbelieving friends and family.  I also believe our gospel message reaches a more receptive audience when accompanied by kind, joyful, and caring behavior.

As we proclaim the gospel message of Jesus calling us out of the darkness and into the light, we need to remember that coming into the light made us little lights.  We are the light of the world (Matthew 5:16).  When folks look at us, what kind of light do they see?  It should be the warm and inviting light of Jesus shining out from us.  Our winsome witness to the message of the gospel is to be a “truth balm” not a “truth bomb” as our friend Kerstan Cantrell writes in this group.

Paul included this aspect of our Christian walk in his requirements for those appointed as elders.  “And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil” (I Timothy 3:7).  Falling into reproach, being a bad actor, clouds our message of hope and life.

May the unbelievers in your circle think back to your kindness and joy and witness to the truth in their “day of visitation,” i.e. the day God visits them with the gospel message.  And may they receive and believe and give glory to God.

One way we “keep our behavior excellent” and “silence the ignorance of foolish men” is to be good citizens as fits the situations we find ourselves in.  It is easy to get drawn into political arguments and grievances and complaints.  But do not let those involvements detract from the gospel message we preach; salvation in Christ alone and freedom in what He has accomplished for us.

Let me give you an example of how this can go haywire.  Let’s say you stop paying your Federal Income Tax over a grievance (and I have seen this in person from both the liberal and conservative side).  Then the IRS comes to your home and carries off your furniture.  Are you being persecuted for being a Christian?  No, you are being punished for not paying your taxes.  It is that simple.

And because I have been involved in these cases more than once, I can say with confidence that this kind of protest does not enhance our gospel witness.  Please let me say it again, maintaining a good reputation with our unbelieving friends and family is not religious posturing or people pleasing.  It is righteousness, flowing from Christ in us.