In addition to the fulfilled prophesies, the priesthood and the sacrifices, and the warnings, another high value lesson of the Old Testament are the timeless truths of the wisdom books. Their influence on our parenting is especially powerful. In fact, like many parents before us, we found the book of Proverbs to be a valuable guide as Rhonda and I navigated the child-training years.
The wisdom books of Job, the Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and the Song of Solomon are filled with life lessons, sometimes in just a sentence or two. Lessons about:
Diligence – “Do you see a man diligent in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men” (Pr 22:29).
Speech – “A healing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit” (Pr 15:4).
Tattletales – “For the lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no talebearer, strife quiets down” (Pr 26:20).
Friendships – “Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself” (Pr 22:24-25).
Wealth – “Wealth obtained by fraud dwindles, but the one who gathers by labor increases it” (Pr 13:11).
And there are literally hundreds more. These lessons almost always revolve around an action and a consequence; either for good or for bad. While these consequences are important warnings and blessings that we need to teach to our children, it is important to remember that they are not promises.
The Book of Proverbs is just that: proverbs. Wise sayings with “most likely outcomes”. That is, “If you act this way, this is most likely the result.” When I say “most likely” am I in any way diminishing the teaching? No. the teaching is powerful and we do well to follow the wisdom contained in these books. But they are proverbs, not iron-clad promises. Why is this an important distinction?
It goes back to the formula method of parenting where we falsely believe that if I do A, B, and C, my kids are guaranteed to turn out like D. It is not that simple. Real life includes lazy people who get rich through fraud, diligent people who work in obscurity, good friends who turn fickle, and children who do not follow the path they were trained in. The world does not always go the book of Proverbs way.
Is that because God is unfaithful to His promises? No, it is because “the most likely outcome” of these wise sayings are sometimes circumvented for a variety of reasons. The evil actions of Satan can bring suffering and loss instead of prosperity even among the most faithful. The actions of others can interrupt the flow of God’s blessing. The discipline of God can change an expected outcome. And the free will of adult children to make up their own minds may lead to disappointing surprises.
So I guess what I am saying is…please teach these lessons to your children. The wisdom contained in these Old Testament books is timeless. And by teaching and living out these truths, you will have a huge influence on your children. The outcomes are not random. They generally follow the Proverbs way. But recognize the limitation of a proverb. Don’t let your faith be rattled when things don’t turn out as the book of Proverbs predicted. And help your children navigate their own faith journey when what might be assumed as a promise did not come true.
So teach the Proverbs. But keep them in the context of the Christian life is lived by faith. And trust God, that even in the midst of surprising outcomes, He is good and He is in control.